Current mood:

distressed

In a heartbeat.



I hate Mondays and it's a torture when you get reprimanded for work on a Monday, by your own mother. I'm not having it easy here as today's also the day Mr PP's going home, back to Thailand. I remember a friend used to say, "Wow, work with your mother, sure can slack and shake legs", well screw that cos it's the opposite and it just got worse today. Of course, there are good days but they're only a handful, other days we behave like she's my boss and I'm her subordinate, and some other days she behaves like Miranda Priestly in Devil Wears Prada. -_-
When she lashed on me, I held back those tears till I head straight to the ladies and totally broke down. Those tears were meant for Mr PP not her and apparently she didn't ask the reason why I cried cos she must be thinking that she was just too harsh to me and I deserved that, well she doesn't know. I've been suppressing my emotions the whole morning till she came and blame for something minor, which in fact wasn't totally my fault and I can't force myself to stay calm anymore. All I can think of in my head was, if I can go just like that, throw away everything here and leave with Mr PP, I can do it in a heartbeat. Yes, in a heartbeat cos I don't see that I've got anything to lose here anymore. 

I'm sorry but I can't help but feel like I'm undergoing some teenage angst now, and I wonder what keeps me going and withstanding all those unreasonable moments with her, now I know. Now my biggest pillar of strength is gone today, I seriously don't know what to hope for anymore but wait... and wait...





It's times like these that makes me wanna wish for a time machine... or maybe a cleaver. -_-